Don't Blink...

Friday evening I went home and it was my first time home in like a month. It is amazing how much changes so quickly. Most noticeably that my parents rescued a huskie named Kia. She's tiny, mousey and smiley. Although it was not love at first sight (her markings remind me so much of Keisha and I had anticipated be able to hang out with my bf, Zoe, all by myself), I quickly realized that she fit perfectly into the family. She stole my dad's heart with one smile and that says a lot. I never dreamed we be a two-dog house again. But they are great playmates, and she keeps Zoe calm and in line (most of the time). That was a very awesome surprise to come home to.
Then my daddy made us crab legs for dinner. I have learned that being a "vegetarian" is very difficult. I do not buy my own meat and I usually opt for veggie meals when out to eat. But being home meant I could eat all I wanted. My body has been craving it anyway.
Then I sat around talking to mom and later Kylie. Lindsey went to hang out with JHUD and Buttfuck because Hud's 21st is coming up soon. I miss these late night talks. I miss coaching my little sis on school and her future. I feel like she's missing out on me not being there her senior year. I even had to mediate a little between her and the parents (which of course has always beena role I played in the family). I even miss watching all our shows together (CSI, SVU, Without a Trace), especially with mom. I'll never understand how it works as quality time spent together but it does.
Saturday was one of my dad's bestfriend's retirement party, Jimmy D. My parents spent a lot of the day working on that. But I hung out with Kylie and her bf, "The Magician". I even got to do her hair for Homecoming. I would have been sorry to miss that. Those are the things I should be there for. Plus she's getting to be so intelligent and we can have smart-people discussions, and I always walk away so at peace and amazed at how much she has grown (I'm getting teary-eyed writing about it).
I went to Jimmy D's party for a while and I got the treat of listening to some songs his retired third grade teacher friend, Tom, wrote. They were so witty! I was super impressed. The last one was way too sad, but extraordinary. I'm glad I went. Plus when it comes to my parents' friends they are like family and there is so much love and history there. I get scared sometimes that I will never have that.
For dinner I went to Thara Thai with Jon. I have missed him so much. I can't explain it either. I mean sure he was like my best and only friend, not to mention my lover, for nearly a year there, but I was shocked to realize how much I missed just talking to him. Plus his hugs are monumental (mostly because he feigns hating everyone). We had a really nice time and I got to meet his cousin, Andy. He was the one person I really wanted to visit.
I would have seen Fred and the Bechtels but it just did not work out. If things had ended differently I would have wanted to stop by Art Mart too. I miss Barb and Becky. Baub too. Scott even. Maybe I will have time over Thanksgiving.
Sunday morning Kylie and Carl, "The Magician" made us biscuits, sausage and gravy. Ummm. A sure favorite. Then Lindsey and I went to Express to enjoy there huge sale and to pay her grandmother a visit. It's funny but I feel more at ease with her grandma than her mom and dad. Patty and I can joke, but something about nervous people makes me uncomfortable.
Then we enjoyed a nice dinner of my father's rather infamous Chicken Enchiladas. Of course this would be served! Probably my favorite thing my daddy makes next to maybe twiced-baked potatos. Lindsey was excited too.
My momma started to cry when I left, which really just breaks my heart. My dad never cries when I leave, but gets real silent. It's tough leaving your home like that and everything you have ever known. It's real tough.
There was definitely a different dynamic in the house between my sister and my parents now that I don't live there (which I expected). There is still a bit of an awkwardness between my father and I like there was this summer. He seemed angry with me the last month or so before I left, not it just feels like resentment. He really pressed for me to go to ISU. I understand that it is tough to accept that I wanted to move further away and that I am on my own now. I just hope they both realize that if I could get the education and environment of Madison at home, I would never leave. It has torn me in two to have to leave them and my home. I'd much rather be there than here if things were different.
What was weridest was my room. I was sleeping in the room I helped design and paint, but it didn't look like my room anymore. There were different pictures on the walls, a desk and a whole new bed. The same feeling isn't there anymore. There's no earthy warmth and history of so many years of growing up. I really felt like a guest in a guest room. That was just too weird. I was the guest who knew where everything was. I also didn't know if I should do the dishes or not? I mean that was my chore. I am so used to getting up and washing dishes first thing. It will definitely take some adjusting.
Also, I didn't get to see Sleater-Kinney. They played Madison Friday night when we left and Sunday night when we left they played in Urbana. But I didn't really have the money so it is for the best.


Today was my first day working at the Arboretum. I met lots of middle aged women who love nature (me in another twenty years). I got everything done before my shift was over. I will again be the youngest person there, but there are lots of personalities I will get along with. I might even get to help when they go to schools to teach little lectures on the environment. I am very opptimistic for this job. Tomorrow I start at the tutoring center and in a couple weeks, I get to watch Shea and Carly. Finally things are coming together and midterms will be over in a week!

Tonight my one and only picked me up from class dressed in the handsome sweater we got from Express. She planned a whole nice date for us. She made Orange Chicken and fried rice. She even got us white wine and candles. Then for dessert, cheesecake. It was so nice. So sweet. Then we watched, "Weeds". She's definitely my favoritest!